Today my oldest, Brandon packed up his car and left home for his junior year in college. I’m not an overly emotional mom. I don’t need to helicopter parent. I am more of a combination pushover and tough love momma. As in yes, I play both good cop and bad cop simultaneously at times. So while I don’t cry when he leaves or feel the need to go with him any longer when he moves out of our home, I still do get a bit choked up saying good-bye and watching him drive away to go back to school.
They just grow up so very fast! One minute your welcoming them into the world and the next you are shelling out a boat load of money and helping him buy stuff for the first house he is renting. I guess I am missing him more than usual though. Maybe it has to do with that he didn’t really have much time for us this summer. He’s older and has his own life. He had an internship this summer, wanted to hang out with friends he only sees when school is out and of course, spend time with his awesome girlfriend of almost 3 years. I get all of that. I really do. He no longer needs me in the ways he did as a child but, since I had him at 18 he has been the one constant thing in my entire adult life and letting him separate from me in that sense has been hard.
He kept trying to leave today and I kept coming up with something that made him stay just a little bit longer. I even went so far as to bake his favorite thing. I then made him wait while it cooled and then cut it up and wrapped it up for him. I made sure he has a nice dinner for tonight too. I wanted him to think of us when he was eating his dinner and dessert.
The little ones were all unhappy about him leaving too. To Ellie, her oldest brother can do no wrong. She loves him to the moon and back. ( I think it has something to do with him not beating her up like Jackson and Luke do.) Jackson followed him out to the car and just stood by the side of his car saying good-bye like 3 times all complete with fist bumps and high-fives. Mind you, he had also said good-bye multiple times in the house. Telling me and Brandon how much he would miss him when he left. Luke told him good-bye and I love you. For Luke, telling someone he loves them is major. The only ones that might ever get that are some of us he lives with and even then it is a special thing indeed.
So what is Brandon’s favorite baked goodie from me?
makes 18-24 depending on how they are cut
2 2/3 c. all-purpose flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt
1 1/2 c. dark brown sugar, firmly packed
1/2 c. sugar
1 c. butter, softened
1/2 tbsp. vanilla
1/2 tbsp. sugar, topping
1/2 tsp. cinnamon, topping
Preheat oven to 350° and lightly grease a 9×13 pan.
Mix the flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt in a bowl. Give it a stir to combine everything.
In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment cream together the butter, sugars, eggs and vanilla. Add the flour mixture in two batches and mix until just incorporated each time. Scrape down bowl and give one quick final mix.
Spread evenly into pan. Combine the sugar and cinnamon in a bowl for the topping. Sprinkle the cinnamon sugar mixture on top of the dough. Bake in the oven for 30-35 minutes.
Let cool completely and then cut.